Rule # 3 - No whining, blaming or complaining.
That sounds pretty simple. And it is. It’s something we hear parents telling their children.
Stop Whining!
What is whining and why is it so destructive? Whining is complaining. Whining is blaming others. Whining is having a “victim” mentality. There is a reason this is so dangerous. It has to do with determining who we put in control of our lives. We’ve all heard the popular mantra “If it’s to be it’s up to me”.
Successful People Think They Are In Control.
As a matter of scientific fact they think they have more control than they actually have.
Unsuccessful people think of themselves as victims. Victims of circumstance, of their parents, of their bosses, of their mates of just about everyone and everything when something goes wrong. They won’t accept accountability or take responsibility.
They take the position of “it’s not my fault”. And then they defend that position with all of their being. They can become amazingly creative on why “It’s not my fault”. The real problem comes in when you realize that if it’s not your fault, if you had nothing to do with the outcome, then you can’t do a single thing to prevent the same outcome from happening again. You’re a victim. Victims are helpless. And since they’re helpless, they never engage in trying to change an outcome. They shut down.
Observe!
If you will take note you will observe the most bizarre behavior in average performers.
magnifying-glassThat is the fact that they would rather have an alibi than a success.
Since a solid alibi is their preference then they expend their energy establishing the alibi. This is done through placing blame and pointing out excuses for not succeeding. It is done by complaining about situations, circumstances and the actions or in-actions of other people.
I once heard and have often quoted the line “You can fix the blame or you can fix the problem but you can’t fix both.”
Whining, blaming and complaining are not only unproductive, they’re destructive.
They divert energy from resolution and accomplishment to building alibis and excuses for failure.
The core of rule number 3, no whining is personal accountability. Successful people take accountability for everything that happens in their life. Losers whine, blame and complain. So, to win, there can be no whining, no blaming, no complaining. Those terribly destructive habits do not lead to solutions or success.
There You Have It!
Three simple rules. So simple you can recite them in just a few seconds.
- Understand your most valuable asset.
- Have deep gratitude for all outcomes.
- No whining.
So powerful that they decide who succeeds and who fails.
There are different levels of understanding and application of the three simple rules. At first understanding and application must begin at the surface level. Understanding your most valuable asset is understood as telling the truth and keeping your commitments. However, understanding your most valuable asset is much more than simply telling the truth and keeping your commitments. But in order to get to the deeper levels of understanding one must first begin to tell only the truth and to keep all of their commitments. They must master the basics in order to see and understand the finer points.
This is true in almost every discipline of life. It is certainly true of the martial arts where a very limited number of moves are practiced over and over to gain higher levels of mastery and understanding. At the highest levels these simple basic moves are put together to accomplish amazing feats. The key was practice, training and commitment.
Implementation Keys
Mastery of the three simple rules also requires practice, training and commitment. These 3 simple rules are not something that can be read a few times and then think “I’ve got it!” I can assure you that you haven’t got it and that getting it will take a life time of dedication, training and practice. I can also assure you that even though you can’t begin as a 3 simple rules black belt, you will gain immediate benefits from your initial application.
Consider yourself in training. Practice. Train. Evaluate yourself. Give yourself weekly performance evaluations. Keep a journal. Find a “3 simple rules” partner. Teach them as you learn. Give each other honest, constructive feedback.
The very best way to master any discipline is to teach it. Teach the power of the 3 simple rules to your kids, your mate, your coworkers, your staff and your team. Go on a personal crusade to change the world with 3 simple rules.
Wouldn't it be great if everyone that you ever met or had any dealing with for the rest of your life were deeply rooted in the 3 simple rules. Give it a little thought and you will come to the conclusion that almost every frustration and disappointment we deal with can be traced back to a violation of the 3 simple rules.
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